March 23, 2007

Office Wars - Toasty Toast

We have the entire 3rd floor to ourselves. A quick inventory of supplies yields the following results:
2 break room / coffee areas
1 dish washer
2 refrigerators
4 microwaves
2 pop vending machines (1 Coke product cans and 1 Pepsi product bottles)
1 cold food vending machine
1 snack machine
1 toaster
Logically, you would think the toaster should be in the big kitchen. The kitchen with chairs and tables so you can eat your food. The kitchen with many windows and a view of the "mountain". The kitchen that contains 3 out of the 4 vending machines, including the one with pop tarts. Of course, some people are not logical.
Life was good. I had toasty brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts for lunch or breakfast. Then one day the unthinkable happens. The toaster disappeared! It was a mystery, I searched high and low, but no luck. I asked for Nancy Drew's help, but she was busy solving other mysteries, that she deemed more important than a missing toaster.
A few weeks later I happened to visit the baby kitchen (the one with only 1 vending machine, fridge, no chairs, and no view of the "mountain"). I see the toaster! They stole it! They are toaster thieves! It should be in the big kitchen with the pop tarts and bagels. I'm waiting till late one Friday, when this place rivals a ghost town in the old west. I'm going to steal it back. Wish me luck!

PS Update on Coffee Edition
I started labeling the two bagger's pot "Rocket Fuel". Unfortunately the cool name makes it more desirable. I can't let the two baggers have an advantage, I need to invent some cool name for "regular pot of coffee". Any ideas?


Silly Sarah said...

You should just buy a new toaster for the larger breakroom. Just kidding that's way to mature for me to suggest. I would walk in that breakroom and take the toaster back and leave a note that reads "The toaster can be found in the large breakroom. This is where it belongs please do not move it. Thank you, Management"

Anonymous said...

Quirky post. I'm highly intrigued yet I have absolutely NO CLUE what's going on. Something about toasters and thieves...Does the hamburglar have anything to do with this devilish office mystery? What about those darn Keebler elves? Are they stealing secrets from Nabisco? Is Nabisco a branch of Keebler, and therefore they're stealing their own stuff! Again, no clue.

I've digressed into forming my own conspiracies. Cooly.

The Franchise said...

Why wouldnt Nancy Drew help? Nancy Drew and the case of the missing toaster, that sounds like a perfect book. I would call the coffee Popeyes Spinach, who wouldnt drink that. Oh and the Josh Out, is actually a shout out to this episode of Scrubs where JD comes in to talk to Turk and Carla while they are in bed. Turk gets up but decides to go right back to sleep and before he passes out he says Turk Out. I thought it was funny, I dont think Ryan Secrest is funny, or that solves that. Wow Im a dork.

Ryan Ford said...

Maybe you should just love the coffee for who it is and stop trying to change it. The coffee likes who it is and would appreciate you loving it for the good bag of coffee it has grown up to be. What if we were married and I started calling you Karen so more people would like you? Doesn't sound fair does it? Now you go the the coffee and apologize.

Tanya said...

Sarah, I love your idea its genius! I am impressed by your manipulation skills.

Josh, the only difference is Popeye's Spinach is green and coffee is brown. I think people would notice.

Cory, expound on your conspiracy
theories. We need a new show like the X-files, I want to believe.

Ryan, was that a proposal?