January 26, 2006

I went to school for this?

I am so very bored. I'm at work. I have a project I call "Copy, Paste, Click, Click" or cpcc. That is all I'm doing. Its supposedly sending out checks to people with inactive accounts. I could train my 2nd grade sister to do this. I miss doing things that took thought. They only way I keep a hold on my sanity is that I listen to books or music on my headphones. I need a better job. As of today I've worked as a temp long enough where I am eligible to apply for a permanent job within the company. Great. Except I don't like job descriptions. They don't really tell you what you will be doing. I can't do another cpcc job. I'll die.

January 25, 2006

We talked.

We talked. I didn't like what he said very much, but we're still together. The gist of things is this: I want to get married, not next month or anything, but sometime in the semi-near future. Gg wants to go to school first and be able to support a family before he settles down. Considering he hasn't started going to school yet that could be a long wait for me.

I don't want to break up, but neither am I keen on being single forever. While 4 or 5 years isn't forever its a significant amount of time. I have this idea where, if a couple dates for more than a year and has not good reason to wait to get married; they probably shouldn't. I realize that there can be other circumstances, but I have never understood people who date for like 6 years.

I'm not going to say he is "the one", but I really love him. We get along together really well. He fits many of the qualities I would want in a spouse list. Maybe if I were younger I would understand his desire to wait more. I don't see the need. I could help him with college. I already had the experience. How could try to change his mind or deny it of him? Still. I wish he'd think through all his options. He could still get a degree without going to a 4 year school.

He says he is afriad I'm wasting my time being with him. I am not. I consider it time well spent. He makes me happy.

January 18, 2006

I want to talk to you in person

Those are never words a girl wants to hear. Rarely is something like that good news. I am so curious as to what this talk is about. Hopefully it is something that is not a big deal. I love gg so much. I'd hate to have done something that would mess up our relationship. I really really want things to work out. I guess I'll find out tommrow night what its about and until then I'll have to be the trusting girlfriend and hope that nothing is wrong.

January 1, 2006

This is going to sound petty

This is going to sound petty, but (there always is a but) I don't know what to do. Gg loves me, I have no doubt of this. I feel the same way about him.I've only known him 8 months, but we're close. We went to cali together. I got to kiss him on New Years. It was the first time I have had someone to share it with. I was happy. Then ten minutes later I go to kiss him and he turns away. I am entirely confused. Then I have a though. Her.
This girl had known Gg for years. She has a history with him that I can't compete with. He doesn't have feelings for her, but she is his friend. She does not like me. If i enter a room that she is in she will leave. The night he told her we were dating she punched him because she was mad. Apparently she has had a crush on him for 4 years, but never said anything because she thought he didn't feel the same, and he doesn't. Gg doesn't want to rub it in her face that he is with me, which is why he didn't kiss me. He said he has been in the same situation, so doesn't want to be mean to her. Yes, its part of the reason I love him. He really cares about his friends, but what do I do about this girl. I try being nice and talking to her, but she isn't going to get my boyfriend, and I'm afriad thats all she wants. How do I deal with it?