August 3, 2006

When do you just give up?

At what point in a relationship do you just give up? Should you ever just quit hoping that things will work out? I used to have this theory that after dating for a year, you should have a pretty good idea of whether you should marry someone or not. I do realize that sometimes there are other circumstances, but I don't understand people that date for 6 years, without any good reason to wait (like school).

GG and I dated about 6 months. Didn't see eachother for another month or so, then started hanging out again. So we've had a "more than friends" relationship for about that year. I know what I want. I love him, and like to be with him, but is that enough?

We have major things we disagree about. Like kids and possibly marriage. Just the little things. He isn't anti-marriage, he is just really unsure. Its not that he does't love me, he just has resevations about it in general. As for the kids thing. He doesn't want kids. He thinks he wouldn't be a good parent. I disagree, but I realize that I cannot change him. If he changes it has to be because he wants to. I want kids. I won't be happy if I don't have any. I don't want to be a mom anytime soon, but I want to someday. I just don't know what to do.

It frustrates me. Now we are in a quasi-relationship. I sometimes refer to him as my "not boyfriend". I just wish things were simple. I don't want to give up. I am truly okay with having things as they are right now, for now. I won't be able to have things unsettled forever. One day we're going to either figure this out or quit. I really hope its the first.


Stew said...

I would say, be straight with him and ask for an answer. Then again, this is coming from a guy who has just given up on relationships. I'll have to say, just try to keep some kind of relationship going. Cheers!

Nici said...

Wow, tough one. The brain in me says give it up, kids are WAY important to you and not to him then God obviously has a better guy for you out there who shares your wants for the future. Kids is a BIG thing. OF course maybe time will change his mind, it happens.... However, the heart in me understands toally wanting to not care and let stuff go to be with the guy you see yourself with lol It sux when you love someone so much and there is a a big block in the way. I luv you girlie and I think the PERFECT man is out there for ya, but it's hard to let go of the really good one infront of you. I shoulda let go of some of the guys I dated lol luckily they wound up letting go of me so I could find my perfect match. I'll be praying for you and him, but don't give up somthing major your heart is set on just because you're not sure you'll find the perfect one.... :) I'm sre you two will work it out eventually so you can quit wondering whats up lol WE GOTTA HANG OUT SOON Maybe God will cahnge his heart....