June 10, 2006

On the Verge

I am so frustrated. I feel like I am just waiting for things to happen. For the past year I have been talking about buying a house, but now that it is time I don't even know what to do. Do you contact a realtor first or get pre-approved for a loan? Who is even going to give me a loan, because all ESI pays me is peanuts?

I did not go to college to make $10.50 an hour and work in finance. Before I went to school I had $20k saved up, I should have bought my house then, but noooo I had to get educated. Too bad it hasn't done a bit of good. My 10 year old sister is capable of doing most of my work. Its so boring. If I weren't allowed to listen on my headphones to books and music, I'd have gone crazy long ago. Its a good company and I have good benefits, I just want to earn a decent wage. I make more money waitressing, plus I enjoy myself a lot more at BE.

Life is just stuck at this point. I'm so discouraged. Today my mom and I were in St. Charles and we saw some cute townhouses. I jumped out of the car to grab a info flyer and they were $193,000. I can't afford that and it was a townhouse. This is just so dumb. I need to do something.

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