I got a new job. Except its my same old job. Now however ESI writes my paychecks instead of the temp agency. I got a tiny raise. Thats nice.
I'm kind bored with stuff. This used to happen a lot more when I was in school. Ususally about halfway through the sememster, espicially the spring sememster things would just get boring. At least then there would be things like spring break to break up the monotony. Now there is no such luck.
I work too much. 6 days a week. Sometimes more. Why? Why not? I have goals - like buying a house and this is the only way I know how accomplish it.
I feel like a loser. Espicially at chruch. Isn't that horrible. PPBC is so cliquish though. I went on a mission trip (which is usually a bonding experience) with the pastors daughter and she doesn't even talk to me if we see eachother in the hall. No one mentions my haircut. When I'm sad and sit for quite some time staring into space no one even thinks to ask if I'm okay. I can't wait until the AWANA year is over. Then I will leave the chruch and shake the dust off my sandals as I do. The people there have good intentions, but intentions get you nothing.
I miss GG. I really am trying to be mature about things and give him time and space, but I feel so incomplete without him. Even when we weren't hanging out together there was just this bit of security that I had because I knew he cared about me and now its gone. I feel like I'm back to being loser Tanya who can't have a real relationship and who lives with her parents. :(