May 19, 2006

Pros and Cons

What do you do when you are mixed up?

I still see gg. We hang out. Things between us are no longer ackward. They're quite good actually. We haven't really resolved any of the things that caused us to break up, but we acknowledge that the attraction is still there. I know him better than anyone else does. We're good for each other. We balance out our personalities. He needs me and I need him.

This would all be fine, I could live with thigs like that. I was happy to let it be unresolved for a while hoping that at some point we could come to an agreement.

BUT Knight and I started hanging out. We're dating. I can't commit to him at this point in time for two reasons. One. I thought I was over gg, but I'm not. I don't know that I even want to be. Two. When/if we do make a committment, I want to be sure that it is right. Honestly, right now I don't know that it is. He has all these good points, but somehow it feels strange. Maybe thats because of gg, or maybe its because Knight and I aren't ment to be. I should be happy to have found a guy who likes my family, has a good job, wants kids. EW said it best when he commented that knight can be "slightly annoying". He calls me. A lot. A whole lot. I don't need to talk to him 5 times a day. He wants to hang out with me (which is good), but he wants to see me more often than I have time to spare. He stopped by my house even to see if I wanted to go to El Shaddai ranch with him after I had said all week that I wasn't going to do anything with him on Friday night. At this point it time I don't want to spend too much time together or else things will start moving too fast and I don't want to make any decisions right now.

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