I really don't know what to write. I just know that I have to.
I don't really understand it. Lately it seems all the guys that I even manage to halfway date lose interest rather quickly. Except this guy who gives me attention at work, but I'm scared to even mention him to my family. I know he isn't right for me, but I just want to be liked. Every time in the past when I have tried sneaking around things have turned out bad, something which I do not want to repeat. Still what am I to do? I might be 22, but usually it feel more like 18. Maybe I'm acting like it. What would I say? "Its my life, let me make my mistakes?" Then I don't even know what would happen and I'm too scared to see. I always try to live up to my mother's expectations. She tells me to be "a step above" she wants me to succeed. I can't stand disappointing her. Not that I don't have goals and dreams of my own, she reminds me of things I've said for myself. it just seems like I always try to gain her favor, and when I do something that won't; I just hide it. Which is wrong. I can't do that anymore since I'm not 15.
I'm a wimp.